Friday, December 21, 2007

Are You the One?

It was with great agitation and some tears that I admitted to the Assistant to the Bishop for the Synod in the Northeast that I was not coming to the congregation whose paperwork was in my hand. I had visited a a classmate in her first parish in the early Spring and met the assistant. I was enchanted with the area and the Synod, and would have loved to work there. When I called him in the Fall to tell him that I had sent my theological resume' to the Oregon Synod and was planning to move there in the beginning of 2008, he'd been expecting me to ask for a parish in his synod and had one of his favorite congregation's paperwork ready to send me. I wanted to see it and read it with an open heart. They were certainly an interesting congregation, but after weeks of sitting with the prospect, I just couldn't say yes. Every part of my "moving to Oregon" project seemed to be on track, and that seemed to be where the Spirit was leading. But......

The very same day that I sorrowfully declined the opportunity to meet this lovely Eastern congregation, I got a call from the Assistant to the Bishop in Northern California. He wanted to know if I was interviewing somewhere else. I could hardly catch my breath and croaked out that I was not, thinking all the time of the wonderful congregation in the East that I had kissed goodbye in the morning without ever meeting them. It seemed that there were two congregations in Northern California for which the Bishop's Assistant thought I might be a good match, and that were appropriate for a first -call pastor. He described them briefly, the reasons why a pastor would be likely to want to serve them and why she might not be interested. One was old, kind of stuck in their ways and still losing members while the community around them was growing. The other was in the middle of nowhere, but flourishing. He wanted to know if I would be interested in the seeing their profiles. Yes. You bet. I closed my phone and sat in my car trying to breathe. I cried again for the lost opportunity with the congregation in the East, even though I could not really identify why I could not say yes to them. And I cried because these other opportunities were so unexpected. "Where have you been all this time?" my heart was shouting to God's Spirit. "Why have you waited until I started something else?" What will happen now to my plans to move to Oregon to be ready for a call to a congregation there? I finished my errands and came home. Sitting across the table from Marti, I spilled the whole story, the saying goodbye and the phone call from Northern California. Tears welled up again. "I don't think I can stand this! It's stirring up too much and I don't even know how to process it all!" I was waving my arms and nearly shouting. She thought I needed to sleep on it all and think about it again tomorrow.



"Are you the one, or shall we wait for another?" This text for last Sunday morning is the story of John the Baptizer's incarceration and his sending his disciples to ask Jesus this important question. It's become my text, too. It has been nearly a week since the phone calls, and I've been faithfully reading the papers for each congregation the Northern California Bishop's office sent. I've been looking deeply at how they talk about ministry, what their history is around conflict and mission, how they see themselves responding to the community around them, trying on their mission statements to see if my mission and gifts for ministry connect with any of theirs. "Are you the one, or shall I wait for another?" It's a big question. They were asking it of me, as well, even though they didn't know it yet.


In the end, I have chosen to respond in favor of one congregation and to decline to interview with the other. I e-mailed the Northern California Bishop's office on Monday morning with my decision and my resume' is on it's way to the congregation right now. I still can't catch my breath. I am headed to Oregon December 31, for the Bishop's Convocation on Jan 2. It will be an opportunity to meet the new Bishop and his new Assistant, the ones who will assess my suitability for a call to a congregation there. I will have the chance to network with pastors I have not seen since I served as an intern in Portland in 2005/2006. It will be wonderful to be back.



Can there be two Plan A's? "Are you the one, or shall I wait for another?"

1 comment:

ktjhawk said...

How exciting! I can't wait to hear more about this.